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She even confessed that he inspired a lot of her fourth album , but after releasing the sadness she was over it and they became really good friends.

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She laughs, putting on a fake surprised voice, "Oooh! " Then adds: "In Nigeria, I never thought of myself as black, because I didn't need to."In Nigeria, she also never had to grapple with the fact that for black women, what Western magazines call "nude" underwear is anything but; nor did she get wound up by editorials claiming that "pink lipstick is universal": the reality, as her latest protagonist, Ifemelu, puts it, is she'd "look like a golliwog if I tried that shade of pink".Such talk, such blatant language, should have me, the sort of well-meaning white liberal she parodies in her new book Americanah, squirming in my seat.He told us one of the women got scammed out of ,000 and was devastated to find out he was happily married.He says the ordeal has taken a heavy emotional toll on his family who keep hearing from victimized women and he can’t find a way to bring the scam to an end. Later, when she puzzled over their relationship, she'd remember this. That had been a fateful move; it made everything easier for him. After the funeral, a grief counselor told her to make no sudden changes in her life for at least a year, and she followed that advice.

Or, to be precise, life outside Nigeria, where the 35-year-old writer grew up before moving to America, aged 19, and "became black".

The scammers create a fake profile, dupe vulnerable people into responding and ultimately getting drawn into what they think is a romantic relationship.

One man who says his photo was posted on a dating site without his knowledge told us he gets a dozen e-mails a week from women all over the world who’ve fallen for his online imposter.

This much she learnt early on."When I was an undergraduate, I wrote an essay for the first day of my English class, and it was the best essay in class. ' – Americans would sometimes tell me that from my name they assumed I was Italian – so when I raised my hand, I saw on his face this expression of surprise. The person who wrote this essay is not supposed to look like me.' That was when I understood why race is a stupid, absurd thing.

That you look a certain way, and people have all sorts of assumptions, right?